Family Pics and feeling blessed beyond measure by grace so undeserved.

It's been a few years, but we finally did it! Thanks to my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and nieces for taking the pictures and helping to get my kiddos attention. It's funny because I knew the day was coming when we would take these pictures. I had ideas spinning in my head of what I wished it would look like...what I wanted to put together for everyone to wear, look like, etc. I am inspired by so many creative people out there, artists and photographers alike. I had ideas. I was inspired... and then reality hit that I just don't have the time these days with 5 small children to pull off that look I have in my head. It seriously took us about 10 to 15 minutes to get a family picture and about an hour and a half to get everyone ready and out the door. In that hour of what seemed like frantic chaos to get out the door before we lost too much sunlight, all of those "creative ideas" sitting in my head became very distant and lost. We headed out in separate cars. Greg driving the truck full of outdoor toys to play with after our family picture and for the following Thanksgiving holiday. I had the girls in my car, and while I wanted to speed out to our spot in the country for pictures, I felt the Lord prompting me to take it slow. In all honestly I can say that I disobeyed. I flew. This family picture was important to me and I didn't want to risk losing the light.

It wasn't until today when I processed the few pictures that we had that I feel like the Lord spoke. I have the feeling that I may have had the chance to learn this lesson a few days earlier and heard the soft whisper of His voice, if I would have slowed down in the car that day.

My heart has been heavy lately. Heavy for my children, heavy for the church in general. Heavy for the culture we live in today. Burdened by the idea that I can get so caught up with the material, the things of things of the world...the cheap accessories of life. Cheap accessories for even something as silly as a family picture. There is nothing wrong with putting a great look together, but what am I putting aside or on the back burner because of these silly desires?

As I raise daughters I have become increasingly aware and burdened when I hear that women think they need to have a certain cup size...or color of hair. Burdened when my mind drifts to such things for myself as I get caught up in the insecurities of who I am ...or who I am not. Then I think of my kids. What will they struggle with? What will they have to face in life? And for my girls especially...what will be seen as "beautiful" in the world's eyes? Will the world be so absorbed by cup sizes, color and waist size to an even more extreme point than what we find today? Chances are it will become more of the "norm" as I find myself knowing at least half a dozen women I know who have altered their look at the hand of a doctor.
Now, I am not trying to point the finger and bring any kind of judgment upon any artist who is inspired and has the time to put a great look together. I truly believe that the Lord gives those gifts to us. I am also not passing judgment on those who have altered their look in some form or fashion. I am honestly just trying to express my sadness of being absorbed by desires of this world...whatever point it brings us to. It makes me think and wonder how many of my own acts and deeds will burn away one day.

I realize that all of this is ENTIRELY about the HEART and the HEART can only be judged by the eternal Father. I knew He was judging me in a sense that it was HIS desire that I placed those "creative ideas" aside...to forget about them. Thankfully, I can say that I did obey Him, but I can't say that I obeyed Him with the best attitude.

I hate it when I get stuck in a selfish cycle...I laugh because I realize that I fight that selfish cycle everyday. Every moment.

As I looked at our family picture, which I am very grateful for... I realize the art is those people in the picture. The ones that I love. Eternal Souls. The art is also clearly the work of the greatest Artist of all who makes the grass gleam in the sunlight.

Seriously. Who can beat something like that?

Earlier the very same day we took our family picture, Greg approached me with the words that went something like, "This is for you." Yes, in my selfish mind I thought, "Oh YEAH! a gift...for me!"

I looked down to find an envelope addressed to an organization that I have been wanting to give to for quite some time. In the envelope was a check. Greg and I had talked about some organizations that we wanted to give to and he had done his research on the organization that I spoke of and decided to give.

At that point in time my heart became filled with a greater joy. I was also so thankful for a husband willing to give after prayerful thought...a husband excited to give. A husband who listened to my desires and acted on them.

How silly it was for me to be so selfish only moments before.

I also was reminded again that in only a course of a few hours my mind can drift to the materialistic desires of putting together a work of art in the form of a picture.

There are others around the world fighting, dying and sacrificing their children...their families...FOR their FAITH.

I want to have faith that strong. I want to focus less on the things of this world and focus more on THE ETERNAL. I want to be constantly aware of the grace He pours on me and my family.

I want our family picture to be a reminder of that grace...not a reminder of a look that we can all pull off or a reminder of "how creative" I can be.

I want to continue to give. To pour myself out for the ONE who is our CREATOR ...and FOR ME, I can honestly say that to do so, does not include chasing the idea of pulling off a creative look for my family picture.

I want to be thankful for even the little things in this life... not only my family, but also the fact that WE CAN TAKE A FAMILY PICTURE and HANG IT ON OUR WALL.

I want to faithfully pray for, consider, and give to the saints around the world who are sacrificing their families for their Lord.

I want a piece of that kind of faith...so that by HIS grace I can raise my kids to follow the same.