Holding On.

Life has been good. Busy. Crazy. I would be lying if I said I never felt overwhelmed, exhausted, and left wondering if I CAN DO this. There are definitely also days that I feel as if I am simply trying to survive and put one foot in front of another, but then again those days fill me with more opportunities to grow.
To be stretched.


Today is not that kind of day. In fact, this week has not even been that kind of week.


The Lord has been teaching me so much and I see more and more ways everyday that He chooses to bless me and grace me with His presence in our home, despite the fact that I am unworthy of any moment of grace from Him. It is as if He uses every child that I help bring into the world to shape me and mold me into more of what He wants me to be. Who knew that raising children would be the means to help me become more like Him?
I sure wasn't prepared for this journey of raising 5 kiddos just 6 and 1/2 years apart. It is quite the growing experience for me.

It's a funny battle. The battle with my self.


This battle hits me often... in fact daily. Moment by moment.


The struggle is real and is often exhausting.


You see, so much of being a mother is denying one's self. And with every child I feel as if more is required. Literally.

It is often that I fight the selfish thoughts of "what about ME!" that I also drive myself into mental and spiritual exhaustion only to find that the more I deny myself, the more I find who I am in Christ. It is also in those times of learning, waiting and trusting that I am reminded once again that I am NOTHING apart from HIM. NOTHING. There is no "what about me," or I guess I should say that the "Me" inside is indeed an ugly one just waiting to release a flood of selfishness and bitterness to those who happen to be around.


Until next time I have to learn the very same lesson after spinning around in my self-centered universe...

I will be holding on to Him as tightly as I can.