The Word of God Revives.

Well, a lot has happened since the last time I wrote.

I write now not to get attention, make people feel sorry for me, etc.

I really write now because I enjoy putting my thoughts on paper and it somehow gives me some kind of relief. It must be a gift from God.

It also feels good to be able to get out of bed and move my fingers over the key board.

My symptoms have become increasingly worse.
Friday was the first day in my life that I couldn't walk well. Friday night I tossed and turned in pain and Saturday morning was the worst that I have felt. Saturday morning I awakened to the feeling of pain on my left side to the point that it was crippling. I could not move my left arm or leg without a lot of pain. It felt much better to not move them at all.

Friday night I broke down and Saturday morning was even more difficult.
After the morning routine Greg took the kids-all of them (he is my hero) to the store to go grocery shopping for Dakota's birthday.

I fell asleep again for a brief time and awoke with the thought, "Psalm 143." The Lord directed me there.

I did not know Psalm 143 so I looked it up:

"O Lord, hear my prayer,
Listen to my cry for mercy;

In your faithfulness and righteousness,
Come to my relief. Do not bring your servant into judgement, for no one living is righteous before You.

The enemy pursues me,
he crushed me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in darkness, like those long dead.

So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.

I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all Your works and consider what Your hands have done.


I spread out my hands to You;
my soul longs for You like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide Your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You.


Show me the way I should go. For to you I lift up my soul.

Rescue me O Lord,
for I hide myself in You.

Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may Your Spirit lead me on level ground.

For Your Name's Sake preserve my life; in Your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
In Your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,

for I am your servant."

By the time I had finished reading and meditating over this chapter my pain became much more bearable to the point that I thought for a second, "I'm not having any symptoms!" I had a much better day after reading this yesterday. May the Lord be praised.

My mom also encouraged me after talking to her. I specifically mentioned that I wasn't sure if I wanted people to know what was going on. She mentioned a sermon from a week or so ago about our Pastor sharing a personal story with his own infant son who faced serious surgery. It was a very scary time in his life that he also did not want to share. The Lord directed him to speak about his son to the whole congregation and he wrestled with the thought- he was specifically wanting to keep what was happening to himself and within the family/close friends. He obeyed and shared about his son with the congregation and found later that people around the Lord lifted up their family in time of need.
My mom encouraged me to share what was happening, even though I don't still really know what is happening. And so I have.

This morning I fell asleep again when Greg took the kids out. This time I dreamed the Lord saying to me: "Your prayers and the prayers of my people save you. The enemy will try to defeat you. Keep fighting."

Keep Fighting AKA Keep praying.

I don't know what is happening to me.
A close friend and doctor came to see me at home yesterday. He was very helpful.
He described that what could be happened is something is attacking the outer covering of my nerves somewhere in my body. He told me to think of my nerves as an electric cord with the plastic coating. What is happening is something is wearing away that plastic coating (if it were a cord) and exposing my nerves, unprotected. It could be dangerous bacteria, infection, disease, or it could be something like MS. He told me that most likely it will take quite some time to tell, and it could actually be something that is never diagnosed. We simply don't know and we may not even know after an MRI.

The Lord has saved me today because today I can walk and today we celebrate sweet Dakota's 3rd birthday.

I believe that His Word saves and the prayers from His people save.
Today I experience pain/numbness/tingling now in all four limbs, it is no longer just left

sided, but I can walk. I am trying still to rest, but I can walk...

and that is a gift.

I can enjoy watching my three old enjoy her very special day. Speaking of her, I hear them all home and happy because Daddy bought her
her very own bike!